The Two Minute Management Course

The Two Minute Management Course

Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw 
the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit on my ass like you and do 
nothing?"

The eagle answered, "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground 
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the 
rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting on your ass and doing nothing, you must 
be sitting very high up.


Lesson Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the 
to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the 
energy."


"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my manure droppings?" replied the 
bull. "They're packed with n utrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of 
manure
and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch 
of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the 
second bran ch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at 
the top of the tree Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the 
turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep 
you there.

Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird 
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there,a 
cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in 
the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was 
actually thawing
him out. He lay there all warm and happ y and soon began to sing for joy. A 
passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the 
sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly 
dug him out
and ate him.
Management Lessons:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) When you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut